photos by FlipChip/LasVegasVegas.com

Fireworks have always been sexually symbolic.
Sex Education...Las Vegas Style
Naked nymphs, erotic exhibitionists, strippers, and lap dancers exposed their talents to an appreciative Las Vegas audience last week to raise $2500 for the financially strapped Clark County School District. The money will be donated to provide computers and supplies for teachers.
The performers fulfilled fantasies dressed as tantalizing teachers, sexy schoolgirls, and lonely librarians. "We bump 'n grind so no kid will be left behind," explained one well endowed dancer. "We do it for education", added a topless woman hanging upside down from a brass pole.
Leave it to Las Vegas to discover a way to beat the high cost of education and reduce the burden on tax payers. What's the secret? Sex, something the city has in abundance.
Sex has helped Las Vegas become one of the world's most successful cities. So why not put it to work for our schools?
Using sex to finance schools, Las Vegas could have the best, most well equipped, and desirable school system in the country!
Now, when the high school wants to send the band to the Rose Parade they won't have any problem raising the money-just hold a naked car wash. Wouldn't you pay $100 to have your Hummer done?
A raffle for an all expense-paid weekend at the Pussy Galore Chicken Ranch could buy helmets and uniforms for the whole football team. The consolation prize might be a free subscription to Hustler Magazine.
Cost of the Senior Prom can easily be covered by uncovering the Royal Court. The Queen's crown would be placed on the head of the most exciting striptease. The evening will end with the graduating class doing the latest dance craze called "The Kama Sutra".
Yearbook sales would set new records if full-spread pin-ups of cheerleaders laced the pages. Every girl would dream of being the class centerfold.
The lack of parent participation in school affaires could easily be solved. Just begin all PTA meetings with a porno film. Here again is yet another opportunity to raise funds by charging a modest admission fee.
School administrators must, of course, still provide equal opportunities for minority students. The Gay and Lesbian Club would be permitted to conduct gender specific activities like Boy Circle-Jerks and Bitch Bashes. Trans-sexual and cross-dressers can go both ways.
Using sex to finance public education may at first seem questionable. However, consider this-it's plentiful and readily available. Everybody likes it... one way or the other. Sex sells; and, it's an unlimited resource!
Education supported by sex would increase local business participation. Adult video stores, massage parlors and escort services, traditionally shunned by public schools, would now be able to offer scholarships and grants to promising young students.
Students with exceptional ability could major in sex management. They would learn the in's and out's of the business. Graduates would learn how to make sex work for their community. Males would receive a Master's Diploma; females would get a T 'n A Degree.
If sex paid for the cost of your childs education, wouldnt you be willing to get in the act? Take a position! Demonstrate your support for Sex Education by attending a school board meeting and demanding satisfaction. Clearly, sex and school belong in bed together!
With sex as legal tender, The Strip could finance operation of the UNLV and Downtown could easily float the junior college. Of course, students would also earn their tuition and books working in the local sex industry. In Las Vegas, every child gets an education!
There are worse ways to pay for education – taxes, state lotteries, government investments. None of these are as reliable as sex. What's more, sex is clean, healthy, doesn't pollute the environment or cause global warming. Al Gore should be able to get behind this.
Email: mousehohl@aol.com
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