Bills passed Saturday

AB90: Punishes men who commit "paternity fraud" by recruiting friends to take their paternity test. Hey! Make it even more interesting. Make the friends responsible for child support also and see how many then want to take the test for their buddies.

AB112: Creates minimum jail hold times for those driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Will we at least wait until they are sober?

AB137: Creates penalties for hoax terrorism threats.
Hmm, we could sit them on a "hoax" bomb--or is it?--and push the red button.

AB143: Increases the time the state Ethics Commission has to investigate complaints.
They investigate complaints? Oh, that's right. Investigate maybe; follow up, not likely.

AB331: Mandates that water providers set rates to encourage water conservation.
OK, I guess that means rate hikes--unless you are a casino.

AB383: Creates penalties for human trafficking and allows fines against businesses who employ illegal immigrants.
What if the business is owned and run by illegals? Fined twice?

AB483: Adds some tax credits and personal property to a list of items exempt from forfeiture in a bankruptcy. The Federal government taketh away; Nevada giveth back?

AB518: which removes state price caps on basic phone service in 2012.
By 2012 I expect the chip in my head should be able to talk directly to the chip in your head. Why will I need basic phone service?

Senate Bill 112: Mirrors a federal anti-meth law and restricts access to medicines that can be used to make meth.

SB277: Allows a program of DUI courts and alcohol treatment for repeat DUI offenders.

Will illegal aliens qualify? Apparently, about as many Americans have been killed on U.S. highways by drunk driving illegals as have been killed in Iraq over the last four years; one situation has created public outrage while the other has engendered proposed plans toward citizenship.