Poker sent three of its' best minds to Washington in an effort to head off the unwanted anti-Internet poker legislation proliferating throughout the congessional lawmaking community. Like weeds in a vacant lot, the bills seem to be sprouting up overnight. The sponsors all seem to have the familiar 'R' after their names indicating they are members of the party that controls the legalities of every activity in this country. Unfortunately, they aren't required to be honest, informed, intelligent, qualified, experienced, faithful to their constituents and they are never asked to demonstrate any useful skills (such as reading and comprehension). Remember, this is the same national brain trust that insisted on adding catalytic converters to automobiles to solve the country's air pollution problems. Fortunately for those lawmakers, they had invested heavily in platinum futures, platinum being a required material in the manufacture of the expensive mufflers. Is your air more or less polluted now that cars have, by federal mandate, included the converter devices? The Congressmen passed the cost of their solution to you, the general public, so are you getting your money's worth from all that 'clean air' you're breathing?

Poker Players Alliance (an organization twenty thousand strong and growing everyday that you should consider joining if you enjoy playing poker online or live) sent Howard Lederer, Greg Raymer and Chris Ferguson-the Professor, the Lawyer and the PhD-on a journey to Washington to lobby against the anti-Internet gaming bills that have grouped the classic American card game, Poker, in with all those gambling games of random chance. No-skill, just-luck games proving that lawmakers believe poker is nothing more than betting and randomly cutting the cards, best hand wins. I doubt that a single idea the three professional poker players offered on Capital Hill was received or understood by this hands-always-out bunch. Probably the only thing the lawmakers do understand is the deep pockets of the online poker community. Want the bills to go away or become so diluted they become meaningless? Then spread around some of that wealth to the good 'ol boys we elected to represent us in Congress. If you don't want Internet poker to become a criminal offense then, just like everybody else, the Internet poker people better get busy paying off the Senators and House members we sent to Washington since the only thing they really understand is dollars and sense cents.

I went on this tirade against the Goodlatte R-Virginia, Jim Leach, R-Iowa and John Kyl R-Arizona sponsored bills after I read a quote so absurd it insulted even my limited intelligence. Gregory Wierzansky, chief of staff for Rep. Jim Leach, said Leach's bill is not an attack on poker players since, "It doesn't do anything to delegitimize poker online. It delegitimizes betting on poker online." Huh? Say again, please. Betting is what separates poker from the old maid card players. Betting and money management skills are an integral element of poker, online or otherwise, and without the ability to apply these learned skills of betting on the hands it is reduced to a game of chance, nothing more than playing craps, flipping pennies or cutting cards. It's damn sure not poker. Goodlatte has made it clear that he is convinced his anti-Internet gambling bill of six years ago would not have been defeated if it hadn't been for that evil cash-laden lobbyist, Abramhoff. Now, under the guise of cleansing himself of this potential election-losing lobbyist scandal, Goodlatte has chosen Internet Poker as his soap.

HBO's Bill Mayer, Real Time with Bill Mayer, posed an interesting contradiction of the American political scene. If lawmakers of the 'Grand Old Party' have an approval rating of 31%, then why is the re-election rate of same 91%? Speaks volumes about the average American voter. Next time you flip on the computer for an evening of leisure fun and relaxation playing poker with some of your online friends and a knock at the door makes you the star of the next episode of Cops, you can only blame yourself for not getting to the polls and casting a vote for anyone opposing Goodlatte R-Virginia, Jim Leach R-Iowa, and John Kyl R-Arizona. Rumor says Congress will consider introducing anti-NASCAR bills, based on the the successful passage of the anti-poker bills. Of course, the proposed law would not make NASCAR racing illegal, instead it addresses the fact that drivers are breaking the speed limit laws of our great country. Mind you, this is not something against stock car racing, race all you want, just don't break the speed limit or you may find yourself sharing a jail cell with the likes of Phil Hellmuth, Daniel Negreanu or Evelyn Ng (sorry, bad example the thought of Evy could encourage law-breaking behaviour) Doyle Brunson. The anti-NFL legislation can't be far behind since professional football is nothing more than assault and battery against another person. Again, the law will not make the playing of football illegal, just the physical contact among the players will be outlawed.

You don't suppose Rep Goodlatte,Jim Leach or John Kyl would be willing to cut the cards and the winner takes all. They get the highest card, no more Internet poker, we get the highest card they give up their seats in Congress, citing stupidity and greed as the reasons for their departure.