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Political Humor

October 25, 2007

JIM ROGERS LETTER TO GIBBONS IS LONG, REDUNDANT, AND FULL OF GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES

I was reading Chancellor Rogers letter in response to Governor Gibbons’ plan to explore where five percent budget cuts could be made by state agencies if there were a future revenue shortfall. For the most part the plan sounds like an exercise of “just in case.” For the most part Rogers letter is a long winded “no.”

For the readers’ information, the letter contains several statements which make no grammatical sense, which for a person in Rogers’ position is laughable, especially as computers have grammar check.

If you want to know why Nevada education stinks, one reason may be the people in charge aren’t the best, even if they are some of the wealthiest.

Here are some of Jim Rogers’ grammatically confusing points:

A budget reduction plan of this magnitude would require new policies, the Board of Regents would have to declare a financial emergency, which requires consultation among the Regents, institutions, and faculty. (a run-on sentence, at the very least)

The concept of utilizing the rainy day fund, which has the effect of spreading the pain of any budget reduction among all of the citizens and agencies of the State, would eliminate the reduction your request. (This sentence just doesn’t make any sense; dipping into the rainy day fund is supposed to cause pain? I thought using it was to avoid pain and budget reduction. Faulty logic here, Jim.)

Reducing the funding of education will make our ability to keep our best high school graduates from going out of Nevada to college. (Simply, huh?)

I indicated that I thought we were headed for a TRAIN WRECK if we did nothing to reverse that trend to provide the quality graduates and trained workers that Nevada needs to sustain growth. (I believe he meant reverse the trend and begin to provide quality graduates and not reverse the trend to provide them. But I guess I shouldn’t try to guess what Rogers means when he so obviously makes more money than I do and so more people listen to him.)

The State has extensive sources of new revenue. (Name one, Jim, other than hoping businesses want to donate, or do you mean…RAISE TAXES!)

It just figures that the man who wrote this is himself a product of Las Vegas High School, although circa 1956. I’m still trying to figure out how he got all his other degrees or did someone confuse confusion with brilliance and B.S.

July 29, 2007

U.S. GOVERNMENT IS WORRIED THAT PEOPLE WON’T KNOW TELEVISION IS GOING HIGH DEFINITION

The government is spending $5 million to let owners know that on Feb. 18, 2009, tens of millions of televisions that are not equipped to receive digital signals will become junk, and they have also committed $1.5 billion for viewers to spend on converter boxes that will translate digital signals for older televisions.

Just so the government knows–although I doubt any of the 513,000 elected officials in this country is paying attention to me (Geez…isn’t that about one out of every 500 people including children and dead Democratic voters; add in a few million appointed and hired and bribed government officials and sycophants and it’s no wonder we don’t produce anything except regulations–almost everyone is working for the government, even thousands of illegal aliens.), my TV is already junk, but it is because of the absolutely mindless programming available. My TV remains off except for an occasional showing of NOVA, and when I want to watch DVD’s, which invariably are film noir or comedies of the ’40’s and 50’s. Throw in a few music performances and a thousand good books and I can easily survive 2009; I won’t even notice when the signal goes dead. That’s my “reality show.”

January 3, 2007

GOV. GIBBONS INNAGURAL ADDRESS DECONSTRUCTED….

Mr. Chief Justice, Lieutenant Governor Krolicki, members of the State Senate and Assembly, honorable Justices of the Supreme Court, constitutional officers, distinguished guests, members of my family, my fellow Nevadans:

First, on behalf of our State, I would like us to take a moment now to express our gratitude to the men and women who are serving in uniform, not only in this state but also around the world, making sacrifices every day to preserve and protect freedom and democracy.

Also, please join me in saluting President Gerald Ford. His lifetime was dedicated in service to God, Country, and freedom. America was blessed to have his leadership and wisdom at a very difficult time in our nation’s history.

Next, I wish to thank my predecessor, Governor Guinn, for his many years of service to Nevada.

[Even though he snubbed me and didn’t come]

Today, we celebrate the democratic transfer of power from one administration to another.

It is a transfer that was born in the fall and celebrated in the winter, here today; and which by its very nature, heralds the hope of coming Spring and the Summer that follows.

[Spring will be overcast with a smattering of scandals, Summer should see things heat up for the new Gov.]

We now have a unique opportunity and challenge–to take the nearly 143 years of growth and progress that has created the Nevada of today, and set a course for the future.

[Because 139 years was just so blase]

A future that brings together the diverse communities and citizens of this great state into a common cause- One Nevada. Together we can create a new ideal of what it is to live the American Dream.

[Except in Pahrump, there not big on the diversity thing]

One Nevada is a place where all of our communities set aside what separates us, and embrace what unites us from our citizens who mine the earth, drive trucks along our highways, or serve our tourists in our hotels, to those that teach in our schools and those who enforce our laws, we come together ONE Nevada.

[To pick up waitresses, abuse the public trust and make the Top Scandal Lists take just ONE Gibbons]

We are striving to create a better state that will continue to be the envy of all those who seek hope and the opportunity for themselves and their families.

[Nothing brings hope better then a slot machine]

In order to achieve real results for all Nevadans, I know I must reach across the aisle, and understand that the shared patriotism I have with each person here today does not create barriers but builds bridges.

[Clark County you’re too damn blue, especially you…Las Vegas]

In order to reclaim the American Dream for all Nevadans, to truly have One Nevada- we must not only build these bridges- we must cross them together.

[Especially when they’re built near land owned by public officials]

We must not allow the interest of one part of the State to override
the concerns of another. Some would call that politics. I would call it turning our backs on the lessons of history, for any great society that pits one group against another is bound to fail.

[Indeed, enough of this two-party crap!]

The test of leadership is to find common ground and then to lead the way. That challenge, to find One Nevada is one that we shall not shrink from.

[Leadership should lead!? How prophetic…]

When Nevada’s first Governor, James Nye, placed his hand upon the Bible, he affirmed that the supreme executive power of this state shall be vested in a Chief Magistrate, and he solemnly swore to see that all laws are faithfully executed.

[Would that be 143 years ago?]

It is this same oath that I have taken, and I am equal to the challenge.

[So you’re a prophet, let’s see how your prediction holds up]

On that day in 1864, Governor Nye initiated a long-lasting tradition for governors who, in addition to their constitutional duties, assumed the enormous task of leading the people of Nevada – a tradition of striking the right balance and course for our fledgling population, and determining this rugged western state’s destiny.

[Casinos, Casinos, Casinos!]

In the past fifty years, our governors have strived to improve upon what Governor Nye and others had begun. They made the tough decisions; together they oversaw the greatest expansion in Nevada’s history and they contributed mightily to the protection of the Nevada way of life.

[They also oversaw the worst times our State has seen … think about it]

“Letting Nevadans decide what is best for Nevada” is a hallmark of our state that has guided each governor that has served before me, and it shall guide my administration just the same.

[Unless it involves limiting government spending, of course]

Let us strive to strike a balance between listening to the people and governing them. In Ronald Reagan’s second inaugural address as Governor of California, he said that “when those who are governed do too little, those who govern can – and often will – do too much.”

[So..either we watch you or you do ‘too much’? At least your agenda is made clear…]

Fortunately, for the past 143 years, this state has been blessed with leaders who knew just how much to govern and with citizens who set the path for them to be led. That is the balance that we must strive for every day.

[Because we are the utopian idea for all of the universe…kneel non-Nevadans and bask in the glory of our eternal governing perfection]

All of us must share a common vision of one Nevada – which can only become a reality if we agree upon what promises that vision entails.

[Because only through group-think can I control the sheep.]

It is a promise to make all decisions with fiscal discipline and strive to renew our faith in the American Dream, a dream of home ownership, safe streets and bountiful opportunity.

[We’re #1, We’re #1, Nevada is #1… in home foreclosures]

November 21, 2006

BUSH IN A DRESS (TUNIC) IN VIETNAM

Photo of Bush and Vladmir Putin in traditional Vietnam Tunics.Found it on Irregular Times